Greetings, Earthlings
I'm truly amazed that people are so lazy when it comes to photography. Today's cameras are artistic workhorses. Virtually anyone can afford a camera that takes museum quality photos with the click of a button. But time and time again, rather than try to find optimal lighting (by say, opening a door and walking outside--how imaginative!), or taking a millisecond to remove the vibrator from the nightstand before shooting a dog hair covered Foghat t-shirt for eBay, people will just click, click, click away---"anything goes" style.
My aim? To ridicule those who take thoughtless photographs. Point blank. Let's face it. If you put photos out there that come close to making human eyes bleed, you're more or less asking for it.
So, here's to a long and happy marriage between blogger and blogee full of good-hearted snarky, fun-poking and hearty good chuckles---
Cheers!!!
And now..... (drumroll, please)
Our first contestant comes to us courtesy of eBay---
While the photo alone is funny in and of itself, the product description that accompanied this receding masterpiece is quite good. And I quote:
"Thisis soooo perfect! It is a 22" curly/wavy ponytail that comes in afinger clip/claw clip, or some people even call it alligator clip. This beautiful hairpiece comes in a #4, A dark Brown!. It is sooo stunning and gorgeous! You are absolutely going to love this piece!!! With this price you just can't go wrong. It is a MUST have for all wig wearers. Curl it, tease it, style it anyway you want with this gorgeous ponytail. ~Stunning~"
Wow!!! You're right. This wig is both perfect and stunning. I've always wanted a hairpiece that I could just toss on and look great in. No need to front cash for pricey styling tools, like say, a mirror. A beautiful, albeit partial, head full of curls that would allow me to look like Sigourney Weaver in Alien 3 when entering a room,
and Dog the Bounty Hunter as a brunette, on my way out.
I am pretty sure this look is a French-kissing cousin of the Kentucky Waterfall mullet. You know, like Tim Pawlenty just before he thought he would be picked as McCain's VP. Hoo-Boy! Bidness in the front, party in the back!!
Certainly the 80's-perm-hiked-into-a-banana-clip is a really nice look and something I'd think most women would definitely like to wear 20 years after its heyday. But, where this photo really sold me was the wig's careful placement, sitting a good 6 inches back from the forehead. Such ballsy protocol totally goes against fashion grain in a cutting edge Gaultier-esque way.
Most women I know, myself included, like to wear our hair sprouting out from the well, hairline------you know where it sort of usually appears in nature. The way I like to think of it is that if there were a seam joining the top of your head to your face, this is where it would occur.
In a bold move, that pushes both the style envelope AND the start of the hair back a half a foot, a very current, yet retro, 60s-inspired wide headband look is created. In this particular case, the role of the wide headband is being played by a bald scalp. Sort of a "headbald" versus a "headband", if you will. Now that's something I would have never thought of. Brilliant!
Posted by Miss Odious Vile at 9/14/2009 10:48 AM 
Categories: eBay
Tags: baldness bald bad hair mullet hairpiece banana clip Dog the Bounty Hunter hair Aliens 3 receeding hairline wig bald mannequin 80s perm Sigourney Weaver Kentucky Waterfall
Categories: eBay
Tags: baldness bald bad hair mullet hairpiece banana clip Dog the Bounty Hunter hair Aliens 3 receeding hairline wig bald mannequin 80s perm Sigourney Weaver Kentucky Waterfall
KMC, you are a treasure!
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Okay - you need to browse over to: www.flowbee.com. Not only does the website not size correctly, the marketing copy and photos are truly tremendous.. See below text on why Flowbee is better then the competitive product "Robo"..
enjoy,
h
Flowbee vs. Robo
Flowbee is the best and robo is a piece of junk!
This conclusion comes from reading written testimonials from flowbee owners after many years
of satisfied flowbee use. They were sucked in by Robo's false claim of better than Flowbee.
This is where Alfred lies to you (robocut inventer) looking you straight in the face
Hi, I'm Alfred, inventor of the vacuum haircutter.
The vacuum haircutter was invented over one hundred years ago. Alfred must know this because he applied for a US patent and never received it . If some body knowingly lies to you once they can never be trusted.
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(from an article on medieval hairstyles)
Having a high forehead was considered to be an asset for women during the medieval times. Those who were not blessed with the same went to the extent of shaving off their hair to acquire a ‘high’ forehead. Strange were the ways used to achieve medieval hairstyles! These foreheads were adorned with jeweled headbands. Yet another strange factor was pulling out and giving a strand of hair that was considered to be a way of being polite to others.
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Thank you, Becca for your insightful comment. If I ever have the opportunity to travel in a time machine back to Medieval Times (not to be confused with the popular theme restaurant in Orlando), I will be sure to buy this wig first.
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